{"id":215,"date":"2010-11-09T16:14:06","date_gmt":"2010-11-10T00:14:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.valeriekampmeier.com\/?p=215"},"modified":"2010-11-09T16:14:06","modified_gmt":"2010-11-10T00:14:06","slug":"no-triumph-no-tragedy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/archives\/215-no-triumph-no-tragedy.html","title":{"rendered":"No Triumph, No Tragedy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cNo Triumph, No Tragedy\u201d is the name of a program on BBC Radio 4 where a well-known blind radio presenter, Peter White, interviews various celebrities who have also had to deal with physical challenges. The program is enthralling\u2013Peter White is an excellent interviewer and his subjects are equally fascinating. So why did that title offend me so much when I first heard it? What on earth could he mean, I thought, \u201cNo Triumph, No Tragedy\u201d?<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been dealing with a health challenge for 13 years now that brought my career as a concert pianist to an abrupt halt, and I\u2019ve taken it for granted so far that I\u2019m moving from tragedy to triumph. It\u2019s my raison d\u2019\u00eatre, you could say. What on earth would my life\u2019s journey be about, if not moving from tragedy to triumph? All the personal development work I\u2019ve done has emphasized that trajectory. The people I\u2019ve met, the courses I\u2019ve taken, have focused on turning your life around, or moving towards some idealized vision. And the alternative is too scary and sad to contemplate.<\/p>\n

Or is it? I\u2019ve already been learning that those things that have happened to me were not necessarily tragedies. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a tragedy as \u201can unhappy or fatal event, a dreadful calamity or disaster\u2026 especially a sorrowful end\u2026\u201d.\u00a0 But who is to decide whether an event is unhappy? Who is to decide if an end is sorrowful?\u00a0 Surely only the protagonist of the story can decide what their story is.<\/p>\n

For example, the death of our baby son, James, \u00a0led to Robert<\/a> re-engaging with poetry seriously, which brings great joy and fulfillment to his life. I\u2019m not sure what James\u2019s death brought me. That\u2019s where I get stuck. It brought me greater strength and endurance to deal with pain (my own and others\u2019). That doesn\u2019t sound very inspiring. But maybe it is. It has also brought me great isolation, as I have had difficulty being around others with children, or even telling others (with or without children) what happened to me. Yet isolation has brought with it introspection, a chance to face my own wounds, demons, inadequacies.<\/p>\n

Maybe some days, triumph is just getting out of bed in the morning.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I don\u2019t believe my own story. Sometimes I think that surely I must be well\u2013I look well\u2013and I will wake up tomorrow morning back to my old self. The idea of tragedy frightens me because of its \u201csorrowful end\u201d.\u00a0 Do I want to turn my tragedy into a triumph because I\u2019m afraid of the alternative?<\/p>\n

What really constitutes a tragedy? Perhaps it is failing to gain any understanding or find any meaning in difficult circumstances. So I may be the only one who can tell if my life is a tragedy. It\u2019s not possible to tell from the outside.<\/p>\n

And what constitutes a triumph? The earliest definition reads as follows: \u201cThe entrance of the victorious commander with his army and spoils in solemn procession into Rome\u201d. Also, \u201ca signal success or achievement, pomp, splendor, glory, magnificence.\u201d That sounds like a lot of pressure to me. What I notice about these definitions of triumph is that they are about a signal success, a public festivity. Yet I realize that, just as tragedy cannot be inferred from outside, neither can triumph. And just as only the individual can know if their life is a tragedy, perhaps only they can decide, equally, if their life has been a triumph.<\/p>\n

So has my life been a triumph? One voice says, \u201cYes, it\u2019s all about inner victories, and you have had many.\u201d Another voice says, \u201cNo, what do you really have to show for your life?\u201d And a third says, \u201cDon\u2019t put that kind of pressure on me for the benefit of others.\u201d<\/p>\n

That last voice is really the key. How much of my life is a struggle simply because I\u2019m trying to make it pleasing to others? I don\u2019t think I realized that I needed to ask that question until this very minute. And the answer that comes is: a great deal. I think I\u2019ve been attempting to prove something to myself and to others, and it\u2019s exhausting. What if I could be more inner-directed and see what happens?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m afraid I wouldn\u2019t get anything done. Well, if all that counts is what\u2019s happening inside, maybe that doesn\u2019t matter. A sense of relief comes over me. And then nervousness\u2013wouldn\u2019t I just be more isolated?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s about acceptance. What if I could accept my circumstances fully? Maybe the isolation comes from the disconnect between how I feel, and what I am willing to show or let others see. If I could fully accept myself, I wouldn\u2019t mind what others see.<\/p>\n

I forgive myself for judging myself as tragic. I forgive myself for judging that my life is not a triumph. How can I possibly know what it is? Can\u2019t I just let it be?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cNo Triumph, No Tragedy\u201d is the name of a program on BBC Radio 4 where a well-known blind radio presenter, Peter White, interviews various celebrities who have also had to deal with physical challenges. The program is enthralling\u2013Peter White is an excellent interviewer and his subjects are equally fascinating. So why did that title offend …<\/p>\n

No Triumph, No Tragedy<\/span> Read More »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=215"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.free2create.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}