Tag Archives: Life Coaching

Are You a Stable Pack Leader?

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Photo: Jeremy Burger

“Humans are the only animals that will follow an unstable pack leader.”

-       Cesar Millan, ‘The Dog Whisperer’

How many times have I followed an ‘unstable pack leader’? Try: My whole life! I bet I’m not alone either. Ever since I heard that quote a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been pondering what it means, and whether it matches my own experience.

Cesar defines a stable pack leader as someone who is what he calls ‘calm-assertive’, present in the moment, balanced, and consistently providing clear rules and boundaries. For dogs these are “exercise, discipline and affection… in that order!” He asserts that dogs immediately know whether someone is in that state by their energy, and can’t be fooled by words or the outer symbols of power that persuade us mere humans. I’ve recently become a fan of his show for that reason— to see him modeling that energy, and to learn how to manifest it more in my own life. Continue reading →

New blogging job.

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This week, I’m pleased to announce that I’ve joined a team of bloggers on the well-established Music Teachers Blog to add my thoughts and ideas on music teaching and teachers.

I’ve been enjoying this blog for nearly a year already, as I find great value in being able to exchange ideas with other independent music teachers. It’s very easy to feel isolated, and it’s been interesting finding out how many of us have the same challenges and pleasures, as well as having the opportunity to benefit from new ideas and resources.

I’m going to be contributing ideas from the point of view of a life coach who is also a longtime performer and teacher, and I’m excited to have the opportunity to try out my ideas. Here’s a link to my first post.

The courage to grow

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I’ve been finding Michelle Bennett’s recent posts on her blog very thought-provoking. She’s been extremely courageous in revealing her inner challenges as a student and a professional singer, and how these have led her to psychotherapy and inner work alongside her musical life. So often musicians, like any professionals, are extremely hesitant to reveal anything less than perfection. Yet, the reality is that we are all dealing with inner challenges every day. And, as Michelle says:

“There is no doubt that the process of facing one?s self is hugely difficult, especially if, like many artists, you have been hurt badly or are very sensitive. I would wager that most people will never do it because of the enormous effort required and pain of the task. It is an odyssey.”

Continue reading →

Are you feeling disillusioned? Great!

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I’ve always thought that becoming disillusioned was one of the worst things that could happen to a creative artist. I’ve seen it happen to friends of mine– “I’ll never have the career I want”, “No-one is ever going to give me a rôle”, “Even when I am working, the work isn’t what I expected it to be.”

So I was completely taken aback the other day when I heard someone I greatly respect say that disillusionment can be a good thing.

However, when I stopped to think about it, I soon realized that there was something to it. The word dis-illusion-ment actually means the result of being deprived of your illusions. And an illusion is a misleading image, a misapprehension, a hallucination, something that deceives (thanks, Webster’s). My favorite definition is “a pattern of reversible perspective”. So looking at it that way, couldn’t disillusionment actually be a good thing? There is really nothing to be gained by being in a state of illusion.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that you give up your hopes and dreams! Just that there are times when it can be good to accept what is, rather than beating your head against a brick wall. There can be a real place of peace in just observing where we are, of taking stock.

Then, when the time is right, comes the brainstorming; the opportunity to start afresh. Life coaching can be a marvelous way to cultivate a new sense of possibility, to make a fresh start, to reassess the options, to get back in touch with your creative spirit, to set new goals.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be offering suggestions on these topics –some practical ways to begin to move towards a more fulfilling life. But in the meantime, if you find yourself feeling disillusioned…. bear in mind that it could be the beginning of a whole new way of life!